depression struck...

my painting turned out crap
is it because i can't paint anymore or is it because i have no mood to paint today
i don't know...
depressed, pessimistic, hurt, sick, down... whatever...
why is this so bad?
why??????
i'm not happy even if i am painting
i used to relax and forget everything when i am painting
expressing myself through every brushstroke, every colour
but i'm not anymore...
today i'm not...
i'm not the me i used to be
it's just today i hope, just today...

waiting to out for dinner
i think i will feel better when i come back
i hope i will be...
T-T