想愛你

如果當天偶然曾提起我, 難道我這樣已經足夠快樂?
如果只感到無聊才找我? 能共你說著笑都感到快樂...
如果何日街中碰到都見我是一個
可清楚日子的喜與悲想跟你渡過...

而每次見你身邊許多許多, 假設你是我 怎可能沒妒忌沒痛楚?
再記掛你多少光陰瞬間不覺已消磨, 來日老掉時仍是獨個麼?

想到你, 夜深中突然心痛過!
多少個秋和冬走過, 才肯喜歡我?
多少個秋和冬走過, 才可清楚我?
怎麼你竟然捨得我常孤單一個...

finally, it's past tense ^^d

風采依然 --> Single...again

風采依然,又在我面前
分開幾年,性格各有點改變
兜轉經年,共你也真的有緣?
再次碰頭,收緊最長的掛念...
能重逢在又再單身那天,情感線能否再通電?

儘量扮得很老練來問你可有對象推薦
你令人仍心軟,心軟...像以前

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誰也絕不過你,到現在還是很配服你
幸福送到嘴邊亦硬生生放棄
難過極了要笑
決記不起我性格太易難過...

你的任性,你的遲熟,原來無可避免...

sleep deprived, work overload

so stressed
so out of time
so many tasks to be completed
so tired
so sleepy
yet i still miss u so very much

男孩像你...女孩像我?

假使間這一刻(你)要(我)憑良心
想一想, 揀一揀, 實在是和誰襯?
(我)會說是命運, 你與我其實熟得很
但(他)總比較親...
好知己好姊妹, 那裡會談情感, 不牽手不親嘴,
但是亦能陪我下半生...

問你這夜最後送誰回家? 我信那個會是我
但我心裡知道 (女)孩像(我) 不想跟(你)拍拖
共你笑著說著戲劇時裝, 那怕錯過了幸福, 彼此蹉跎
仍然可以彼此幫助...
沉悶晚上相約渡過...

如從前無法碰到這個他, 和良朋能夠變出戀愛嗎?
若然蒙著眼又能投入嗎?

像個世上最壞愛情童話, 最襯(我)那個是(你)
就算都算相愛仍然沒法比兄妹浪漫更多
共(你)繼續約會, 喝茶談天(我)說勝過了共(他)一起消磨
為何(他)會得到寶座, 長伴身邊的卻是(你)?

...maybe i'm really very very bad...

stressful...

never have i realised that uni life can be this hectic... stress level has recently risen to a point where it's simply unmanageable
deprived of entertainment, fresh air and most importantly SLEEP!
just then around 5ish i was playing with my dog on my bed, the next thing i know is my mum calling from the kitchen saying it's time for dinner!
there was a 2 hr time lapse which i cannot recount for...
i must have dozed off >___<
see... i'm this tired... T-T

on another note... it's still april and i'm still depressed
and it's been more than 3 wks since our last conversation...

dual personality?

日夕也像圍著他飛行, 我要得到從沒不可能
我要留下對他的牽引快樂才能步近...
日夕暗地凝望他失魂, 我卻不說寧願要死守自困
我有心終能被吻...
讓我主動親近人? 只會等無意親近人...
為何未見他如情難自禁, 願提示愛著那人
為甚麼他回家?　他回家說到底因太害怕
逃避我...面頰被摑下沉重的一巴!
為甚麼他回家不想說話?
是誰行為會使他這樣怕?
錯在(我)如此刻意吧?
難道(我)不開口有用嗎?
用盡氣力來為意中人, 我已想到無限個可能
性格容貌與他都相襯, 我願移船就磡...
用盡努力期待意中人, 我卻刻意回避要等他步近
以冷感追求熱吻...
良機都通通錯失, 任他選急進或愛得秘密
何以都說不?
他...得到也是憑造化?

edited from <<兩敗俱傷>>
2 girls 1 boy, 2 approaches to love, both rejected
but how come i'm acting out both approaches when there's only 1 of me?
i'm not making sense here...
it's late n i'm tired

when is the end of april?

the most terrible month of my life.
they all contributed to it.
family, friends and the ones who i don't know how to classify

1. My un-classifiable dear friend:
are you really that busy? but u got time for the others... in fact, u got lots of time for the others

2. My precious family member:
y scream at me for no (pathetic) reason? don't take ur stress out on me, i'm not in any better position

3. My always available n reliable friend:
my-oh-so-reliable is not so reliable after all at a time when i needed u most

never realised living happily is such a hard thing to do.
never realised i can be this depressed.
i feel sick.

原來已經半年了...

"我怕浪費情緒的錯覺, 討厭自己像刺蝟小心的防備
我很反對為失戀掉眼淚, 唉呀呀呀...離你遠一些...
喜歡看你輕輕皺眉, 叫我膽小鬼
你的表情大過於朋友的曖昧
寂寞的稱謂, 甜蜜的責備
有獨一無二, 專屬的特別...
喜歡看你輕輕皺眉, 叫我膽小鬼
我的心情就像和情人在鬥嘴
奇怪的直覺, 錯誤的定位
對你, 我有點膽怯...
我在我的世界, 不能犯規
你在你的世界, 笑我無所謂..."

原來已經半年了...
你又找到了下一個愛笑的她
無奈我已經不再笑了
u have moved on while i was still standing here
是結束了...是太遲了...

"沿著你背影遂場夢搜畫, 小心你的神情被攝下
只想驗證像你的戀愛家, 其時脈搏急促過吧?
就算剎那芳華, 過眼煙霞, 重重迷霧, 視野蓋著雪花
曖昧... 純屬我虛構吧? 難道心動還會假?
曾經發生過感情, 發生過不能推翻的許多事情
呼天不應, 還是有一秒溫馨為我去指證...
發生過感情, 發生過不能假裝的一些反應, 無法經營
難道你敢說只因已亂性?
原來你在不確定時候已盡慶..."

T__________T

seriously i don't know what's wrong with me
mooooody...
retail therapy doesn't work
food doesn't work
chocolate doesn't work
nothing works...
T-T

speechless

i'm reading this relationship self-help book instead of my piles of law readings...
pathetic.

no... i'm not ok...

i just can't forget
i just can't let go
and i just can't do anything about it
no, i'm not ok
i'm not.

depression struck...

my painting turned out crap
is it because i can't paint anymore or is it because i have no mood to paint today
i don't know...
depressed, pessimistic, hurt, sick, down... whatever...
why is this so bad?
why??????
i'm not happy even if i am painting
i used to relax and forget everything when i am painting
expressing myself through every brushstroke, every colour
but i'm not anymore...
today i'm not...
i'm not the me i used to be
it's just today i hope, just today...

waiting to out for dinner
i think i will feel better when i come back
i hope i will be...
T-T

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not
1. Asking you out
2. Calling you
3. Dating you
.......
He's Just Not That Into You If He's DISAPPEARED on you
He's Just Not That Into You If He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully or a Really Big Freak!
~ Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo

oh... if all these are true then...
He's just not that into You (me)...

似夢迷離...

slept @ 0100, woke up @ 0308
a mere 2-hrs...
what is happening?
listened to this old song
mood swing again.

情痴總有缺憾, 情深總要別離
天意愛弄人, 誰人可退避?
時光幾次錯漏, 人海幾次傳奇
聚了又分, 愛情似夢迷離...

如果可以抉擇, 能否一切暫停?
將我這份情來重新鑑定
誰迫使我冷漠?　誰勾起我共嗚?
沒法望清這時這份濃情.

面對去或留, 徬徨怎決定?
為何熱戀不應該愛慕的你?
曾也盡努力, 求共你一起
無奈這風雨難逃避...

流乾所有眼淚, 來演一剎傳奇
在歲月中愛情繼續流離...

是甜是苦?
愛情似夢迷離...

...just be together...

if u like/love each other...
why not just be together?
follow ur heart
it's as simple as that.

(i hope)

pronounce: 'slEp

my fishes r sleeping in their car
my dog is sleeping on my bed
u r sleeping already i presume
maybe it's time for me to sleep too...

girls night out

had a great night ^________^
went to lowenbrau with cass
mango beer... oohhhh yummy...
n the platter for 2 hehe so many meat!! but so yummy ;P
was gonna go to verandah coz it's lady's night but then can't be bothered to wait in the long long queue outside... went into hotel chambers instead
atmosphere is great, music's great n the cocktails (pink bomb + raene's blessings) hehehe... delicious!
then met up with jossi to go to mars lounge @ surry hills... not as good as expected but had a great time chit chatting about relationships ;)
awwwwwww.... we all have our own problems... why can't things just run smoothly?
but i guess u always need to go through the rough patches in order to appreciate 'real' happiness...
though i am not sure if what i had was real happiness... oh well, i know i'm dumb...
i know my 'thing' is screwed ;(
anyways... all the alcohol makes me sleepy
better go Zzzz...