-我也很想-

那時我們總有好多話 什麼事都可以講
我的愛情比你早 卻一直放在心上
後來我們之間的變化 我不想再多說話經過了相遇和掙扎 我還是無法將你放下
那是多久後的事了 有一天你突然問我
在那個時候 是否愛著你
我也很想問你 是否我們都一樣

changed from <<我也很想他>> - Stefanie Sun

你呢個人...

使命感極重, 深信女兒當自強, 爽朗天真
有愛心及人情味, 端莊賢淑, 樂天積極, 常擔當聚會搞手的角色
凡事想到便要去做, 百折不撓
喜歡三五成群的出外遊玩;
尤其怕悶和單調, 要令家庭滿朝氣
對感情有時侯會三分鐘熱度 <--- that's me

性情溫和, 容易相處, 想像力豐富, 怕羞怕羞卻非常浪漫
意志堅定, 誠實孝順, 不懂為自己打算, 衰得過且過
興趣多元化, 但每樣都只係逢場作戲
家庭觀念極重, 夢想擁有一個舒適的家庭;
亦很重視朋友, 尤其是跟自己青梅竹馬的死黨
一生追求浪漫有火花的愛情, 愛情上只要交往, 不要承諾 <--- this is him

is this accurate?
for me... some r... some aren't
for him...? i wish i know...

my w.e.e.k.e.n.d

fri: hurstville, tuition
sat: the rocks, pat's 21st @ Little Snail
sun: blue mountains

so busy, so tired... still so many readings, still so many revisions
now v. confused, v. depressed...

why does it have to be like this?
i understand the reason, i understand the consequence, i understand the situation
but why? why me? why you? why now? why this? why again?
too much knowledge yet still so many questions
i think i just can't accept the fact that life is not perfect

maybe the feeling will pass away tmr morning
maybe it's just tonite
maybe it's just that her car is right outside
maybe it's just me being crazy once again
yeh... all of these maybes...
when the only thing i want is an "if"
but we all know... there is no "if"s in this world...

-->緋聞女友<--

how come every song i listen to seems to depict our situation!?
maybe it's just me... yeh... maybe...

誰都猜到我喜歡你吧
人家怎講我不管也罷
而我在意似假的可以變真嗎
到處亦有人撞過我在和你交往
很多緋聞可惜和你意願略有偏差

傳聞在說你正跟我秘密拍拖
然而預知了後果　手也未夠膽拖
要是你心可以容納我　
何必一拖幾季還是再拖
當有人說你極其襯我　
在那一刻先最難過

毋須祝福我早知結局
傳我共你被講多幾次也心足
暗裡若有人問我　會認和你一對
這種虛榮即使無法兌現未算委曲

要是你心可以容納我　
何必一波幾折還沒結果
當有人說你極其襯我
面帶歡喜心裡難過

....

其實不對但我想試下去, 是否會變合拍的一對?但餘孽太多還何苦出錯...
從此永訣像隔著河,
下半生各自過, 停在記憶內留座...
遙望你跟她的未來是那樣諧和

唯盼你故事到結局, 那愉快結局
完美裡那美中不足, 常記掛那美中不足
會是.............我

it's late at nite n i'm going crazy again...
just realised i always go crazy when the dark falls....
2.03am's anonymous call... will that be u?

【平衡的中道】

別人認為你是一個新鮮的、有活力的、有魅力的、好玩的、講究實際的、而永遠有趣的人；一個經常是群眾注意力的焦點，但是你是一個足夠平衡的人，不至於因此而昏了頭。他們也認為你親切、和藹、體貼、 能諒解人；一個永遠會使人高興起來並會幫助別人的人。

m i like this? um.... i feel flattered... ^^

S.O.S

忽然發現原來身邊還是有好男人的
他對我很好, 他愛護我, 他待我像寶...
但是看到了得到了又怎麽樣?
我還是步步為營...
我還是那個都不愛.

掛念你
很累很累...
很累,
但還是放不了...

沒有人懲罰我, 完全是我難平復淒楚

那些追憶本可一躍就過

我偏喜歡給它一再折磨

以前的事, 不捨得的一個是我

以前的事, 最拋不低的那是我

其實滿懷執著　不甘心的一個是我

觸不到的人

就算有心致電你, 你總關了機...
如何苦心編輯短訊,
卻知你看一半便已悄悄洗清總不想存起
就算我不痛恨你,
然而內心擠不到話語便無味
如從沒愛我,
卻盼有個人待你好, 當作過渡...
不管暗示再多 仍然逃避我
你獨個行加快了腳步
我未愚笨到纏著你不肯放, 像追趕你落愛河
不想這樣, 為難是我...
我未迷住你亦總有別個
如身心都難觸摸到
猶如隔住了天涯海角那距離
仍然未放棄　
卻怕會那沉默至今太過吃力
算吧...
就當並未認識過...

please don't let the cycle begin once more
i don't think i can manage anymore
just stay like this will be fine
just stay like this...

happy b'day to Sunna, Tian n Annie!

recap:

fri (15/10) - Tian n Annie's 21st @ Kingscross Soho Leopard Lounge
sat (16/10) - Sunna's 21st @ bondi beach, JuJu, Greenbox

didn't get sunburn for a change hehe... beach was good but so windy after 3... JuJu's food not as nice ;(... finding parking n buying cake took us a long long time haha but it's good at the end so it's all good... hope u like it la sunn sunn~

overall a busy but happy wkend hehe...
but i have so little time to zzz... >___<

the Fish vs 42 Below Vodka

a little bit headache
a little bit dizzy
a little bit hyper
a little bit lost
a little bit sad
a little bit happy

a little bit drunk

n u know what? it's only 6.46pm...
n i have planned to drink the night away
.ha.ha.

-no i won't lose-

just have to keep reminding myself
i can do it
serious
i can get over it

習慣若即若離 在兩個人之間尋找相處的方式
在你的身上看到 我有多沉迷
經過了漫長等待我懂得忍耐
只是學不會何時才應該離開
從熱切期待到面對傷害 從戒掉依賴到適應無奈
還以為是我的錯, 錯了就改
來來去去在這路上徘徊
我給你更多的寵愛, 更多的關懷
然後才明白 沒什麼是非對錯存在
回看我走過的路這麼窄
在你的手裡 感到握緊你要多大力氣
在你的眼裡 看到怎樣才能忍住哭泣
放你在心裡 突然明白我要開始練習忘記
痛到不能自欺 就勸自己不要再想我們多可惜
到了某一種距離 就學會放棄

放棄了...

-if it's not meant to be-

learning to accept...
if it's not meant to be, no matter how much effort i put in it, it still wouldn't happen
it's just like pushing against a brick wall, at the end i will only hurt myself
i admit this is by far the toughest challenge for me so far in life
i'm blocked for so long and i can't get out of it and i can't do anything about it
i'm not in a position to whinge coz my life has been great... some might even say it's too good to be true... no obstacles whatsoever...
the only thing i can't get in life is - u -

sometimes i don't understand why it won't work out
i always say there r too many things to take into consideration and i always have doubts
but at the end i always hope that we could just forget about everything and just follow my heart
but no... this is reality... this is how life works
u r bound to have regrets...

it's not like i don't care about u and i think i'm not imagining u cared about me too
but the circumstances, the timing... everything... indicate that this is not meant to happen
maybe some other time, some other place when we r older and know what we want
when we r not so sceptical about relationships, when we have more faith
when we r more mature
maybe someday... who knows...
the only thing i know is - nothing will happen now

i know we will both find more suitable others
but i also know that u'll always have a place in my heart
a place for a someone that will always be more than a friend
but for now...
good-bye dear
good-bye

stuffed...

oh man... what have i done again?
how come everytime i stuff things up?
seriously i have no explanation...
i'm sorry... really really sorry
i know it doesn't really make a difference now
but still... i sincerely apologise

sorry

病

病...
好耐都未病得o甘大劑...
失聲,發燒,流鼻水,頭疼,手震...
病o左好耐
好辛苦...

你話係心病...係想得太多才病o甘耐
我10000個deny!!!
nonono...
病始終會好... give me sometime and i'll be fine

想喝水, 給我水

或者高燒可勉強減退

然後鎮靜情緒

忘掉我這裡應該有誰

不要想,只管睡

肉體安好不要怕心碎

無謂繼續麻醉

期待你會賜給我藥水

不要緊,請辜負

或者傷風比你更可惡

從病榻上回顧

其實愛你太辛苦...何苦?

不愛了...

:'(

i'll be fine when this horrible flu goes away
i'll recover physically n mentally
thx for ur care... ur call really did make a difference at times like this
to let me know there r still someone out there who cares for me (besides my ma)

and i thought about it already
i won't ask, i'll let go...
i'll be fine
i think it's long enough already
as u said... he did nth except make me unhappy
yeh i think it's time to let go
this time...it's for real...
i hope

i just can't let go...

i'm sick n i'm upset
u talk to me n then u ignore me
y do u always treat me like this?
i know i'm in no position to complain
but i would really appreciate it if u can at least acknowledge what i've done
like say something... say if u like it or not... if it's what u want or not
don't just pretend u didn't get it or u forgot about it totally...
u know... i don't really like to make stuff without a pattern... i don't really like the fact that i stabbed my fingers like a million times... i don't like to have stiff neck n watch the sunrise with bleeding fingers...
i only make it coz u said u really want it...
but it now seems u don't really want it... u don't even care right?
ok... enough with the whinging... i won't whinge in front of u anyway
yeh i know... i'm useless...
they say no need to treat u that good coz ur not worth it
y do i treat others like dirt when they treat me like a princess
y do i treat u like the world when u treat me like dirt
i should just get over it i guess if that's what i chose

I'll be ok

I'll be ok...
Go find ur love today...
If she's the one ur longing for, just tell her
At least u know she knows, at least u'll have an answer
Unlike me... always too scared to ask, too ready to pretend
Just go for it...
Just want to let u know that u'll always have my best wishes...
U've done nothing wrong... so I'll be ok
serious...
I'll be ok