sick again?

sore throat...
dizziness...
fever(?)

am i sick again? oh no... i can't take it

after fishing, swimming, bondi, k-ing... i feel so dead...

第一次...

the first time i said "no" to u... remarkable...

friends

This will never work out right?
Given the situation, given the past, given our obsessions...
I'd rather have you as a friend than something more
As a friend, we will last longer right?
Then should I not treat you so nice from now on? or just the same...
But treating you the same will be too good for just friends...
I don't ususally treat friends so good
But you wouldn't know... coz i wouldn't tell you...
I'm just too good at pretending and keeping my silence

原來暫時共你沒緣份...

放手...談何容易...

或許你我都過份固執
你懷念她, 我留戀你...
怕...
怕等, 怕盲目, 怕期待, 怕難堪...

They asked me if you are worth it
I have no answer
什麼事都做過, 都不能感動你...
極固執的如我也會捱不下去
每天扮著幸福始終有些心虛...

要是那天我已吻了你, 我大概也只得空歡喜
要是我肯決意放棄你 , 可會越行越遠但是越好奇?
要是說出我會永遠愛你, 然而我都愛到斷了氣
要是你知我已愛上你, 可會為求避免鬧劇便撤離?
我怎麼要妒忌, 只可以妒忌
但願明天嫁給你, 太沒有骨氣, 我為我生氣...
要是能對著你自首, 我大概做了你新女朋友?
也許會, 發現你未愛得夠
也許會, 逐步逐步害怕你輕浮
結局永遠看不透...
若墮進你溫柔, 難免會變做前任的女友
留一步誰都好...
若然開始, 怎樣可免悲劇上演...

Confused!?

Just a question for u...
r u hiding away from her or from me?

actually i think i know the answer but i just don't want to admit it.
she is always the one isn't she... i'm just the... the nobody i guess...

so full...

interesting afternoon+nite at KLC...
but the intrepreter seriously pisses me off... grr...!!
y do i have to be the one working with intrepreter.. *sigh*
maybe that's a valuable experience really given that they dun usually have interpreters...

bbq @ Koh-ya 10.30pm... Went home a bit after 12... so full
the ppl there must think we r crazy... 2 girls ordering 10+ plates of food and finished 95% of them...
oh we must be so so hungry...
but now so full n look like 3 mths pregnant... LOL
so sleepy... yet still have hw to do...
ai...

...

i'm sick
dun hurt me

Left Outside Alone

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairy tale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe

Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breath can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone

Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way


Maybe I should just not see you anymore
Out of sight, Out of mind...

sick

i feel so sick
both internally n externally
pain... headache, heartache
unbearable?
but i can still manage to laugh

我想你幸福

不做你的公主
要做你的快樂
我想你幸福...

你說我真好, 什麼都好
誰當我情人, 作夢都會笑
我望著窗外的街角　
看到心酸走來, 幸福走掉...
你說我真好, 比誰都好
有適合的人要幫我介紹...
如果我真的那麼好,
你為什麼不要? 為什麼不要...

do i quit or do i stay

i don't even know what happened
can u tell me what's going on now so i can make a decision?
but what decision is needed anyway?
it's hard to just let it be...

is that what she called stepping over the line?
or r we still treading on this thin thin line now...
i wonder

The Terminal

Loved the movie...
It's touching... Really liked how he kept his promise

Didn't expect the ending though
She should have chosen him but...
I totally understand why she made that choice

A man u've waited for 7 years vs a man who've been waiting for u

As she said in the movie, "I look at men the way I want to look at them"

It might be totally wrong, I might be sick, but that's the way I am
We tend to go for our own feelings right?
I love him but I don't expect him to love me back the way I do to him
I know you love me and I might be touched n flattered but all I can say is "sorry"
I might try to forget him and have a fresh beginning with you
But at the end, I will still go back... Coz it's my habit, it's a disease
Uncurable disease that has lasted for 7 years already
Even though I know there's no future, even though I know it's hopeless

You don't have to remind me I'm making the wrong choice
You don't have to tell me I'll be much happier with you
Coz I won't change...
Yes I'm sick, I know it...
Just leave me alone

扯線風箏...為你失眠

數盡每一隻綿羊仍然未到天亮
想念你想到落淚仍然沒法安睡
你像幽靈黑暗中揮不去
掛念他人...怎會需要睡床?

為你失眠都不錯...?
夜深偷偷把你細想, 又靠著我的孤枕當你肩膊....
而你獨個可會寂寞?
凝望著天花牽掛我?
就怕夜裡不肯去睡覺的只有我...

怕你不再著緊, 怕你討厭被綁緊
為了討好你
我不禁讓我那腦細胞犧牲
我也許太認真?
我也許過份天真?
我已經好醜不會分...
隨著你鬆與緊, 彷似扯線風箏
連動作跟氣氛都要聽你指引
如若斷線不牽引, 突然滑落怎偷生?
離別也許不開心,
好過抱住你從頭纏繞多半生, 心痛到劇震...
從此天色一暗,
忘掉我曾經跟你合襯...

fishy fishy...

never knew changing water for fishies r soo soooo tiring
my hands r fully shaking now...
i guess the fish tank is really too heavy for me to handle >___<
but seeing them swimming in clean water is so good~
especially when i've added in some shells n sparkling rocks...
then tank is looking nice LOL
i think i shall add a little coloured stones in it to make it more cheerful...
um... have to go aquarium shopping again soon...
maybe i shall buy 2 more fishies too... another yawny, another hyper...


just a reminder to myself:
1.5wks something will be said
7wks there will be a definition
1.5wks --> next sunday?
7wks --> around mid October (19.10)
ok i'll be patient... but if this fails again... i think it's never meant to happen...

it's finished

let's just put it all behind
back to normal
i give up
mind games are too stressful for me
it's probably just me though
anyway
that's it
goodbye